Rosie’s Visit (Day 2)

Rosie and Cameron just left and I am considering the last few days, while they are still fresh.

Yesterday, Rosie brought Cameron over to meet me and we drove up to Richmond to have lunch with my mother and meet the rest of the family.

Cameron is an engaging person . . funny, clever, intelligent, very practical. When he heard that my brakes were in need of repair, he threw his tools in the car so that he could work on them while they were here. What a sweet guy!

When we arrived at my mother’s work place, Rosie was welcomed like a celebrity! Everyone had been following the story and looking at the photos and it was an incredibly warm experience. I was so happy for Rosie to get to experience this. She told me that she has never felt special. I hope that has changed! She is SO special to me . . . and the rest of my family. I hope she can feel it!

Rosie wanted to go by the family store and, my brother, David, had said he’d be around. We ate at Spengers while Cameron showed us photos of Rosie and of their trips and wedding photos. On the way up, we had stopped at a market for sustenance just before picking Betty up. Rosie has similar blood sugar issues to mine and Cameron does a great job of making sure that she gets fed. I know what it is like to be trapped in the car with someone who has low blood sugar and I know what it is like to be that person.

We dropped Betty off at work so she could pick up her car and go get Dorrie who was wanting to meet Rosie. We went to Berkeley and were going to meet up with them at Betty’s after our tour of the family business.

We went to the “Shop”, as we refer to it, and looked at the photos on the wall, watched David and Kokee at work. Kokee hadn’t met Rosie the day before, so she was introduced to her, and to Cameron. We took some group photos, and tried to convince Rosie that she really needed to add a choir robe, or two to her ensemble.

Cameron has a sister who is similar to my sister, Dorrie, so her mannerisms were not unfamiliar to them. Dorrie was a fountain of words wanting to tell us about her upcoming trip to a dude ranch, which I think is in Arizona, but she didn’t seem too certain about that. She is very excited about that. We focused in and out of that during the time at Betty’s.

Cameron showed us more photos that they had packed in the car on their hasty departure from home. Betty shared some of the photos she had collected and identified Rosie’s ancestors in them.

Family stories flowed, discussions of race, my mother shared some song lyrics that she said she realized she must have written for Rosie, about the power of being brown, not black or white.

Hours passed, it was 8:30 and we became suddenly aware that we had made an agreement with David to meet him at the Eagles Hall in Alameda at 8:30. It was then 8:30!

We hustled into the car. Cameron’s GPS got us there, so I didn’t have to get lost again trying to find it.

On Friday nights, they host a Cajun/Zydeco dance at the Eagles Hall, am old building in Alameda, which has a big “floating” dance floor. I have gone, perhaps 5 times. There is live music, often bands from Louisiana. It is pretty much the same crowd every time I go. This night, there were about half as many as the other times. Still, a lot of people.

It was an amazing experience to be there with Rosie. She loves to dance and had lit up when I had mentioned the possibility of going dancing. She shares a passion for salsa dancing with David. I had agreed to go salsa dancing with him . . . sometime. When we got to the hall there was no sign of David, but we settled in and basked in the scene. I danced with Rosie and it was so much fun I could hardly contain myself. I got Cameron up to dance with her and took some photos. We watched the various couples and all of the variations for a while, and I realized that, though there have been nights when I was content to watch and learn . . . tonight was for dancing! Rosie and I danced several dances, Cajun, Zydeco, a waltz, some line dancing . . . It got better and better. I look forward to much dancing with her! Dancing, singing, talking, writing.

We called it a night, when things were still going strong. I felt that I didn’t want to be greedy. I had more than I had ever dreamed of. I didn’t need more.

I am sure there will be long nights of dancing and singing in our future, tonight we needed to get home safely.

Cameron drove us home and I fell into bed. It took a little while for me to get to sleep, though, I was exhausted. The euphoria of it all was so intoxicating.

I awoke early and waited for the phone to ring, while I collected video tapes that I wanted to show Rosie. Her great-grandfather being interviewed about his life in New Orleans, my television show, some performances. . . I got a call from Rosie asking me to read my email and call her. I hadn’t read my email, yet, which was uncharacteristic of me. I was too intent on getting things ready for her. I read her email, along with several others from people who have been following along on the blog, When I read the poem she sent me , as well as the preface, I was overwhelmed. She had spoken for me. She had said what I was feeling. She said my words before I could find them . . . and better! I called her fully dissolved in tears and she told me to pull myself together because they would be arriving soon, so that Cameron could replace my brakes and we could spend some more time together.

Rosie told me that she felt that she was the first one in our family to be free, That she had lived her life entirely untouched by racism. She had never felt discriminated against. I told her what a wonderful thing it was to hear that my daughter did not have to go around wearing her skin. It is true that she did have to wear her beauty and I know there is a price for that, as well. I didn’t want her to feel guilt about not having experienced racism. I do appreciate her sensitivity to it. There are members of her other families that are more apparently black, than she, and she was concerned.

I am grateful to her family for providing that experience for her. To allow her to grow up without having to be black, however, unintentional that may have been. It says a lot about them. We all have family issues. I am thankful that Rosie was spared having race be one of them. She had her own struggle for identity, as well as facing religious intolerance.

She and Cameron drove back home. I gave her a pillow to take to sleep with on the back seat. They were both was pretty exhausted. She had my pillow, my music and I hope much more…